Harry's Goodbye
by bubble drizzles
Summary: All of you shaped me into what I am. Now you're gone and nothing's ever felt so wrong. Harry's letters to those he lost, but who changed his life, for better or worse.
1. Chapter 1

**A Harry Potter fanfic.**

**Harry's Goodbye.**

**by: bubble drizzles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters.**

**A/N: Hi everyone! This is my first multi-chapter Harry Potter fic. I usually write Percy Jackson, but I've been thinking of this plot for a while now. I'm excited about it, but kind of worried too, cause most of the fics I've read on the Harry Potter fandom are really, really good. I hope you guys all like this, (:**

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><p><em>Summary: All of you shaped me into what I am. Now you're gone and nothing's ever felt so wrong. Harry's letters to those he lost, but who changed his life, for better or worse. <em>

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><p><strong>PROLOGUE.<strong>

He was walking through Diagon Alley, thrilled to see everything was slowly going back to how it used to be. It had been a week. Finally, the war was over. Some were mourning the loss of their loved ones; others, partying, happy because after all these year, Voldemort was defeated for good.

Harry stopped when he got to store number 93 and looked up to see the sign that said Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. He sighed as he saw the short, plump woman with flaming fiery red hair that he cared for like she was his own mother. Her eyes were the same shade of warm brown as Ginny's, the girl Harry loved and could, now that Voldemort was gone, be with. Molly Weasley, at that moment, was discussing with a young man, in his early 20's, who had the same red hair as everyone in her family but was missing his left ear. She knew it was pointless, he wouldn't ever change his mind, but she had to try to convince him to leave the shop. Ever since the war ended, he'd been working more and more everyday and Harry knew exactly why. It was the same reason he prefered being alone these days to faking a smile and thanking when people congratulated him for defeating the Dark Lord. In fact, all the Weasley family, plus those who were left of the Order of the Phoenix, seemed to be doing that now. Avoiding their problems, mourning silently.

"Harry, honey, we're over here!" he heard Mrs. Weasley call and walked over to where the whole family, plus Hermione, were now. "We're almost done, we'll go home soon. Are you ready?"

"Um, actually, Mrs. Weasley, I was thinking of stopping by Quality Quidditch Supplies," he lied, "You don't have to wait for me, I'll be back to The Burrow in time for dinner." In reality, he had just been to Quality Quidditch Supplies before coming back to Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, but he needed some time to think. The funeral would be tomorrow. Fred's, Remus', Tonks', along with some more wizards and witches who died in the War and whose families agreed on having a big funeral for all of them. Harry had been dreading this day ever since it was decided. He couldn't stand the idea of seeing everyone's dead bodies before him; people who could've been alive had he only realized what he had to do sooner.

Mrs. Weasley nodded, "Well, alright. Be careful, now. Shall we go then?" she asked the rest.

"I think I'm staying with Harry, Mrs. Weasley. I haven't been to Quality Quidditch Supplies in so long. . ." Hermione said.

"You don't like Quidditch, Mione," Ron stated.

"I know that," she said through gritted teeth while glaring at her boyfriend, "I just thought I'd start looking for something to give to Harry. Birthday present, you know?"

"We're in May! His birthday is in July!"

"RON!" she exasperated, giving him a look that clearly stated she wanted to be alone with Harry.

"Oh. . ." He finally seemed to understand what it was all about cause he yelled, "Ohhh! That thing we talked about! Oh, yeah. . ."

"Yes, Ron. We'll be back soon, Mrs. Weasley. Let's go, Harry," she said, dragging him out of the store. If the others didn't buy it, which Harry assumed they hadn't, they didn't question anything. When they were out of view, Harry pulled Hermione to a smaller street.

"What is it, Mione?"

"What's what?"

"Oh, come on! You know I didn't fall for that "gift for me" thing."

She sighed, "Fine, Harry. I just wanted to talk to you."

"Well, you could've just talked to me at The Burrow."

"I've tried! But it's like you're not even listening!" He opened his mouth to argue, but she cut him, "And I know what you're thinking about. It's not your fault, Harry. You know it isn't!"

"Of course it is, Hermione! If I had realized sooner that I had to willingly let Voldemort kill me, these people could still be alive. Fred, Remus, Tonks, Colin Creevey. . . Would you stand seeing them all, lifeless in front of you? No but's, Mione."

She sighed once more, "That's what Ron and I have been wanting to talk to you about." When he raised an eyebrow, she continued, "I think you need a way to let this all out."

"This what?"

"This grief, this loss, this . . . I don't know, these feelings?"

"And what would you suggest?"

"I've been reading some Muggle books about loss and some people who lost their loved ones said writing your feelings to them really helps."

"Are you telling me to write to dead people?" He didn't know whether to laugh or cry, "Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?"

"I'm trying to help you, Harry! _We're_ trying to help you! You think Ginny isn't worried?"

He didn't really think he needed any help, but the mention of Ginny made him want to try. He didn't want her to worry, and if she could notice how badly this was affecting him, he would do anything in his power to try to get rid of these . . . feelings. He sighed, "I'll try, Mione. I'll write one and see if it does any good. If it does, I'll keep going."

She smiled brightly. "Oh, that's terrific, Harry! Thank you so, so much!" she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a tight hug, and Harry couldn't help but find himself smiling too. How could he not be happy, with his best friend excited like that?

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><p><strong>Well, this was the prologue. I'll be trying to post the first letter next week. I hope you all enjoyed it and if you think I should work on or improve something, leave a review. Also, check out my Harry PotterPercy Jackson crossover United We Stand, a collab with my good friend , if you're interested. **

**Thank you (:**

**Love,**

**bubble drizzles**


	2. Chapter 2

**A Harry Potter fic.**

**Harry's Goodbye.**

**by: bubble drizzles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HP.**

**AN: Hi! So here's chapter one. I don't really like how this turned out . . . I wanted it to be deeper and more emotional. It's his _mom_! I rewrote it several times, but when I couldn't find anything better, I decided to leave it like this. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: To Lily Evans.<strong>

Harry sat down on his bed and grabbed a quill and a piece of parchment. He promised Hermione he would try the letters . . . but who would he write it to? Who would be the _first_? Sirius, Lupin, Fred. . . ? And that's when it hit him. _Lily Evans_.

His mother gave her _life_ to protect him, it was only right to begin this new experience with her. But what to write? There were so many things Harry wanted to say to her. He wasn't even sure he'd manage to put all of that into a single letter. Could he even write _something_? Would he be able to write down what he felt or would his emotions get the best of him?

He didn't know, but he was willing to try.

_"Dear mum,_

_I think what Hermione meant when she told me to write these letters was that I wrote it to people who died during the war. _This_ war. I'm sure she didn't mean you or dad; she must think I'm over that. But the truth is I'm not. I'll never be over any of this. You and dad are the two people I miss the most. I understand people had to go to save the world, doesn't mean I like it. But that gave me the stength to keep going, to defeat Voldemort, to try and make the world a better place. You and dad helped me, mum._

_Living with the Dursleys was awful, but at least I was near your sister. At least I was close to some part of you. Aunt Petunia, she. . . she never hated you. You two might have fought a lot, she might have hated the fact that you could go to Hogwarts and she couldn't, and because of that jealousy, she might have wanted to distance herself from you and the magic world as much as possible. But she never hated you. I lost a mother that night in Godric's Hollow; she lost a sister._

_Everyone tells me I have your eyes. Thank you very much for giving me them, mum. It makes me feel closer to you, somehow. They say the eyes are the window to the soul. . . would that mean we have the same soul? Am I as kind-hearted as you, as talented as you, as brave as you? I wish I could've known you better._

_Mum, I miss you so much. I wish you could be here with me; you and dad. I have to be strong for everyone, but sometimes I wish I could break down and cry. Sometimes, I wish I had you to comfort me, mum. _

_Thank you for everything. For sacrificing yourself to save me, for being the amazing woman everyone says you were, for being there for me even when I couldn't see you. _

_Wish you were here, wish you well. I love you so much._

_Love,_

_Your son, Harry."_

He looked at the letter and sighed, it wasn't exactly how he wanted it. It didn't really show what he felt, his deepest emotions, what he really wanted to explain to his mum. But, well, he just found it hard to write down his feelings. He wasn't that good with words. . .

Why was he worrying about this, anyway? It wasn't like his mum was going to recieve the letter . . . right? Although some part of him secretly wished she would.

He was about to call Hedwig to deliver the letter when he remembered: Hedwig was dead. _Dead_. Not here. Not waiting for a letter to deliver, not wanting something to eat, not with him. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to stop the tear that was threatening to slip, and got up. If Hedwig wasn't here anymore. . . well, he didn't want any other owl to deliver a letter of this importance. He made his way downstairs and told Mrs. Weasley he was leaving and would be back in 15 minutes.

He apparated in Godric's Hollow and slowly walked to his parents' grave, where he left his letter. He sat next to the graves and stayed there for a few minutes, lost in thought. Maybe Hermione was right. Maybe this would really work.

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><p><strong> So, what'd you think? Leave your opinions by clicking the prettyful link below where it says, "Review this story!" I will try to post a new chapter every Tuesday, but who knows what will happen.<strong>

**Thank you for your time (:**


	3. Chapter 3

**A Harry Potter fic.**

**Harry's Goodbye.**

**by: bubble drizzles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HP.**

**AN: ****Hey, before I go on to the chapter, I have an important announcement. I'm working on a collab story with 5 fanfiction authors. It's a Percy Jackson story, though, but I'm also announcing it here because I know some of you also like PJO. If that is the case, please go to our shared account LegendsofLit and read the profile for more info on our fic. It's not ready yet, and it's not posted - we'll start posting when we're halfway through - _but_ we suggest putting the account on Author Alert because we may have some short oneshots leading up to the story and a possible Sneak Peek. **

**Chapter 2's here!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: To James Potter.<strong>

Harry was sitting in his bed when Hermione walked in.

"So. . . did you. . . write one, yet?" she asked carefully.

"Hermione, we got home from the funeral barely an hour ago."

"Well, I know but I thought maybe. . . maybe you had written one already. It's ok if you haven't, I just-" She stopped when she saw Harry nodding and smiled brightly. "You wrote one? Really? Oh, thank you, Harry!" she said, wrapping her arms around him.

"Mione. . . Mione, can't breathe. . ."

"Oh, sorry." She let go of him, "So. . . who did you write it to?"

The boy who lived hesitated a moment before answering, "My mum."

Hermione's smile faltered a bit, "Your- Your mum? Oh."

"I know you probably didn't mean for me to write this to her, but she gave her life to protect me. I love her. She's my mum. I needed to write this letter to her."

"I- I understand, I understand. Did it work?"

"Surprisingly, it did."

The girl blinked, "It did? It worked?". Her smile widened, "I knew it, Harry! I knew it would work! You have to keep going, please, you have to!"

"I will, I will. I was about to start my next one when you came in."

"Really? Oh, can I see you writing it? Please?"

"I uh, I don't think that's a good idea. I need inspiration, I need to be alone. Sorry."

"Oh. Well, it's ok. Can I. . . can I read it after you're done?"

He frowned, "I'm sorry, Hermione, no. Not this one. You can read all the rest, just not this one. Too personal."

"I understand, Harry. I do. Who are you writing it to?"

"My dad."

"Your dad. . . "

"And then I'm leaving it on his grave. Like I did to mum's."

"Oh Harry!" she wrapped her arms around him once again, "You know I love you, don't you? I'm so, so proud of you. This is so sweet, I'm sure your parents would love it."

"Thanks, I guess," he said, pulling away from the hug.

"I'll let you and your letter alone, good luck!" And she closed the door.

His dad. James Potter. Oh how he wished he had his dad with him. . . would he be proud of him? Or would he be disappointed that he wasn't a true Marauder?

"_Dear dad,_

_Hey. How are you? I hope you're well... I really do. I miss you._

_I wish I could've spent more time with you. I play Quidditch, you know? Seeker. Everyone says you were _obsessed_ over Quidditch. Would you be proud of me being the youngest seeker in a century? I wonder if we'd play Quiddith together if you were still here._

_Everyone tells me I look _just_ like you. I like that. You must have been a very handsome lad, haha._

_I met Sirius and Remus, your old friends. They miss you too, dad. Well, _missed_. Now I bet you three - or four - are together and annoying mom again, aren't you? Padfoot and Moony told me a lot of things about your time at Hogwarts, _Prongs_. While, I didn't agree with some of what you did, I'm very proud of the Marauders and what they came to be. The Marauder's Map helped me greatly, you have no idea how much it did for me. _

_Snape was my Potions teacher at Hogwart. It seemed like he hated me for the most part, but in the end he turned out to be a great person. He helped keep me safe, dad. He really had a good heart. I know you and him weren't in the best terms, but you shouldn't have bullied him. He was obsessed over the Dark Arts, sure, but he changed._

_Now that school's over and Voldemort's gone, I'm thinking about my future a lot. I want to become an Auror. Do I think I have potential? It's really the only thing that I'm interested in. I also wish to start a family one day, with my girlfriend Ginny Weasley. I even know the name for my kids. If it's a girl, Lily. If it's a boy, James._

_I wish I could have saved you, even though I was just a baby. If I could bring you back, I would. I miss you so much. Thank you for helping me throughout the years, dad._

_I love you._

_Love, _

_Harry." _

Folding the letter, he disapparated, back to the graves of the two people he loved the most.

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><p><strong>Er, how was it? Review, please? :) And please do check out LegendsofLit if you're a Percy Jackson fan!<strong>

**~bubble drizzles**


	4. Chapter 4

**A Harry Potter fic.**

**Harry's Goodbye.**

**by: bubble drizzles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HP.**

**AN: Hey, as some of you may know from my other Author's Note - or not since no one reads it - I'm working on a collab story with 5 fanfiction authors. It's a Percy Jackson story, though, but I'm also announcing it here because I know some of you also like PJO. If that is the case, please go to our shared account _LegendsofLit_ and read the profile for more info on our fic. It's not ready yet, and it's not posted - we'll start posting when we're halfway through - _but_ we suggest putting the account on Author Alert because we may have some short oneshots leading up to the story and a possible Sneak Peek. **

**Chapter 3 here!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: To Sirius Black.<strong>

Harry took some time to prepare for the next letters. His mother's and father's were the most emotional, but he knew all the ones he'd write from now on would be harder, because they were people he actually _spent time_ with. And he knew just who the next letter would be to: his godfather, Sirius Black.

"_Dear Sirius_,

_I hate the fact we didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. One minute we were dueling together, then you went off to duel Bellatrix and then. . . you were gone. Killed by drapery, eh Padfoot? Hah. I'm sure you thought that was a very heroic way to go. I have to joke about it, or it just becomes way too painful. _

_You were the closest thing I had to a father. Well, a very_ fun _father. More like a friend, actually, but still a fatherly figure to me. And, unlike my parents, I got to _know _you. I. . . lived with you, ate with you, talked to you, got mad at you, wanted to stay with you._ _Unfortunately, we didn't get to spend much time together. And I can't stop blaming myself for it. _

_I should have known it would be one of Voldemort's tricks, and I definitely shouldn't have taken Kreacher's words as true. I should have tried harder to learn Occlumency. I'm sorry, Sirius, your death was partially my fault._

_I loved you as much as I loved my parents. My father was lucky to have a great friend like you. I miss you, Padfoot, but I know you're in a better place. You probably have reunited the Marauders and you're all annoying the heck out of mum, I bet. I wonder how Snape's holding up. . . haha._

_I know you and Snape had that rivalry, but he was a good person. And so was _Regulus_._

_We'll see each other again, I hope._

_Your godson,_

_Harry."_

He folded the letter and was about to Apparate when he remembered: he didn't have anywhere to leave the letter.

"Hermione?" he called, making his way to The Burrow kitchen.

"Harry? Hi. What's wrong?" she asked.

"Remember when I said you could read all my other letters?"

"Yeah. . ." she said, confused.

"Well, I just wrote one, so you can read it a second."

"No, Harry. It's ok. I've been thinking. . . it was pretty selfish of me to ask that."

Harry grinned, "Seriously, Hermione, it's ok, you can read them."

"No, Harry. Those are _your_ personal letters!"

"So?"

"So I have nothing to do with it! I'm sorry for asking you before."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Hermione, I thought it over. You can read them, maybe this way you'd actually understand how I'm feeling."

"I don't know. . . " Hermione looked uneasy.

"Plus, they were your ideas in the first place."

"Oh, yes, I guess. . ." she said, smiling.

"But you have to help me on something first."

"Anything."

"How can I get the letter delivered to Sirius?"

Hermione's smile fell, "Oh." She frowned, "Gosh, Harry. How _can_ we deliver this to Sirius? He's, you know - "

"Oh no, I know, believe me," he interrupted, "But I left my past two letter on my parent's graves."'

"Well, you _could_ leave it-"

"No," he cut her off once again, "There is no way they'll let me leave this letter in the Department of Mysteries. Especially not in the Death Chamber."

"Of course you can go to the Department of Mysteries if you want to," said Ron, walking into the kitchen, "You're _Harry bloody Potter_."

"That wasn't my idea, Harry," said Hermione. "Maybe if you could let me finish my sentence, for once."

"Go ahead," Harry lifted his hands up in surrender.

"Why _do_ you want to go into the Department of Mysteries anyway?" Ron asked.

"_That's_ none of your business." Hermione continued, turning to Harry, "I was going to tell you to get Pig. I'm sure he'd find a way to deliver the letter."

"Well, now it _is_ my business if it involves my owl!"

Hermione sighed and rolled her eyes, "Harry's letter to Sirius."

"Oh, can I read it?" asked Ron, reaching out to grab the letter.

"Not before me," cried Hermione.

"Why do you always get to go first?"

"Because I'm _me_, now if you'll excuse me?" Hermione extended her hand and Harry gave her his letter.

"Why do you always take _her_ side?" Ron questioned Harry.

Harry rolled his eyes, "Because it's ladies first."

"Then I'm _sure_ Ron would have wanted to be the first of the ladies to read it," Hermione said, not taking her eyes off the letter.

"Oh, shut up, Granger."

Harry grinned, "Ginny was right, you two _do_ sound like a married couple."

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><p><strong>So, hope you liked it! A bit of a HermioneRon discussion at the end, hehe.**

**Important announcement! I'm going to move back to my old city, and we started packing today. I don't have my computer anymore, I'm here on my grandma's and only to post this chapter because I had it written already. But this is the last chapter I'll post until maybe January 15th, which is when I'll have my stuff back and possibly installed again.**

**~ bubble drizzles**


	5. Chapter 5

**A Harry Potter fic.**

**Harry's Goodbye.**

**by: bubble drizzles**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HP.**

**AN: Hey, as some of you may know from my other Author's Note - or not since no one reads it - I'm working on a collab story with 5 fanfiction authors. It's a Percy Jackson story, though, but I'm also announcing it here because I know some of you also like PJO. If that is the case, please go to our shared account _LegendsofLit_ and read the profile for more info on our fic. It's not ready yet, and it's not posted - we'll start posting when we're halfway through - _but_ we suggest putting the account on Author Alert because we may have some short oneshots leading up to the story and a possible Sneak Peek. **

**Sorry for the delay, haven't had much free time. Chapter 4 here!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: To Remus Lupin.<strong>

He made a list. Well, what else was he supposed to do? He had never been one for organization, but it was the only way to continue the letters. He had to know whose letter he was going to write next and he couldn't forget anyone important. So, a list.

According to the list, next one was Remus Lupin's. _Moony_. One of his father and godfather's best friends.

_"Dear Lupin,_

_I'll take care of him. I promise, I will. Teddy will be like a son to me, I'll do the best I can to help raise him._

_I wanted to thank you, for being the best Defence Against the Dark Arts professor I've ever had. Thank your for being there for me when I needed help, for teaching me the Patronus Charm, for protecting me, for telling me stories about my father and Sirius. Thank you for everything._

_I'm sorry for saying what I said to you when you wanted to help Ron, Hermione and I on our mission. I regret it. Like Sirius, you were a father to me and I shouldn't have said that._

_Thank you for making me Teddy's godfather. As I mentioned before, he'll be like a son to me. _

_I miss you, I really do. And I'm sorry you had to go. If I had realized what I had to do earlier, you could still be here right now. _

_Now that the Marauders are reunited again, I'm counting on you to keep mum safe from dad and Sirius' - _especially Sirius_ - pranks. They always said you were the _most decent_ Marauder. _

_Thank you again, for everything._

_- Harry_

_P.S. On the bright side, I'm sure there aren't full moons wherever you are. Just remember, being a werewolf didn't stop any of us from loving you."_

He folded the letter, after reading it over. Perhaps he should take writing classes, maybe they'd help him express himself better_. Nah, _he pushed the thought out of his mind. Remus and the others would still love him, no matter how badly he wrote.

"Ron!" he called, walking down the stairs, "I need Pig."

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><p><strong>The letters will probably be shorter from now on, well, the chapters in general will.<strong>

**God, this letter was awful. Really. **


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